Tears
by peacock blue eyes
Summary: [AU]There's probably nothing Roxas can do to take the pain away from Kairi's heart. All he can do is keep his promise to Sora. [3 of 5] [Roxiri, some Sokairi]
1. Tears I

**_Tears: Part 1_**

Cold. He was numb from the tips of his fingers down to his feet. Wet. His black suit was soaked and clung to his frame like a badly glued piece of paper to some inanimate object. But he was still breathing…warm tears still fell from his eyes that watched as two men he did not know carry a black coffin over to the burial ground.

He was deaf to the cries of his friends. All he could feel was his own pain. And yet, he pushed on, forcing himself every step of the way to the tombstone.

'_He doesn't belong here,_' was what he said when he first laid eyes on the cemetery. The place where dark clouds always seem to hover above and never go away. The place where mourning never cease.

Never did he think this day would ever happen. _Ever._

He stared down at the epitaph inscribed on the gray stone:

_Sora Wyatt  
__August 17, 1986 – March 23, 2005  
__Beloved nephew, dear brother and important friend._

He wasn't aware that someone had ushered him gently aside so that other mourners could pay their respects. Perhaps it was a good thing he didn't pay any attention to them, or else he'd scream at them all to stop. That Sora wasn't gone. That he was still alive and on his way to the local convenience store to get a carton of milk.

But he knew it true. No matter how much he wanted to deny it.

He can't believe it. His older brother was gone.

'_Why, Sora?' _The question repeated itself over and over like a broken record machine. _'Why'd you have to leave before anything even started?' _Before graduating college, before skiing in the Alps like he always wanted, before proposing to his girlfriend, before having kids, before growing old…

It all ended the moment he found out in the hospital…

* * *

_The doctor came out of the emergency room with a grave look on his face. He turned to the patient's twin brother. The rest of his family and friends should be arriving soon. "Mr. Wyatt…"_

"_Is he going to be alright? What's going to happen to Sora?"_

_The old man shook his head. "I'm afraid…there isn't much time left for him. The longest he'll live-"_

_Roxas seized him by the collar of his shirt. His blue eyes flared with indescribable rage. "Hell! Don't you dare finish that sentence! This is Sora we're talking about!"_

"_P-please, Mr. Wyatt! Calm down!"_

_His grip didn't relinquish until somebody had to pry his arm off. His vision was semi-blurred but he refused to cry in front of them. Finally, he said the only thing he could. "Where's Sora?"_

"_Room 596."_

_Without even asking for directions on how to get there or even what floor it was on, he shot off. He didn't know where he was going. He can only vaguely remember a few random room numbers he had run pass._

_157…326…450…583…_

_Roxas collapsed and leaned against the wall for support, slowly dropping to the floor…unable to breath. Felt like his lungs were clogged up. 'Where…am I?' Why was he even here? He instantly remembered. 596. He weakly raised his head to try and see the room number of the door opposite of him. 594._

_So Sora was in the one a few feet away. Struggling to get back onto his feet, Roxas grabbed something to help steady himself. It was cold…but not as cold as his skin, which was clammy and pale. He staggered to the door that stood slightly ajar. His vision was returning to normal, and his breathing calmed back to its original pace. He raised his hand and knocked._

"_Roxas? Hey, what took you so long? Well, don't just stand there. Come in," came the cheerful voice of the brunette. Yeah, nothing's wrong with Sora. If it was really that serious, Sora wouldn't be laughing. Right?_

_Roxas pushed the door open and his gaze fell on his twin, relaxing against a bunch of pillows and toying with something in his hand._

"_You know what's stupid? They give you a remote control and there's no TV in the room." Sora chuckled, dropping the device onto his lap. He didn't look ill…in fact, he looked healthier than any other 18-year old Roxas had ever known._

_The blonde walked over to his bedside and pulled out a chair before sitting down. "That's for your bed, Sora."_

"_Why would I need a remote control for my bed?" Sora grinned, bringing his arms back against his head._

_Sora was diagnosed with AIDS. That's right. AIDS. He got it from their mother, who received it from their father. None of them was aware they carried such a disease in their body until after their mother died, leaving both the boys to fend for themselves and go find this "Uncle Cid" who would take them in._

_Their father died a long time ago, probably when they were no older than three. They were poor and it took every ounce of sheer will their mother had to keep on going. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and then passed on._

_It was Sora who was the first to say "C'mon, let's go find Uncle Cid." It was Sora who took care of the both of them throughout the hell they called their early childhood. It was Sora who was always the optimistic one. Who always smiled against all odds. Who always knew there'd be a solution. Who was Roxas's soul support._

_So why…why is Sora the one who has to suffer?_

"_Come to think, what time did you bring me here?" Sora glanced at the clock which read 6:45 A.M._

"_Around two." Roxas had come home late, only to find his brother passed out on the kitchen floor of their house. Cid was in a city an hour away, fixing some idiot's broken-down car. Unknown to both of them, Sora had gotten a chill that morning but still went to school. He wasn't suppose to be exposed to the cold but he didn't seem to really care. Sora can be so air-headed sometimes, it drives Roxas nuts. "They told me to wait in the lobby but the doctor didn't show up for a few hours so I went looking for him. I nearly got into trouble for being too close to one of the emergency rooms."_

_Sora laughed full-heartedly. Roxas smiled. The one thing amazing about Sora is his recovery speed. Probably because of his positive outlook on life. He'd wake up within a few hours as if nothing seemed wrong. Maybe that's why he was able to live longer than the expected life-span of one who has the illness._

"…_You have bags under your eyes. You know that?" The spiky, brown-haired teen pointed at his younger sibling's eyes. Roxas started to rub them and couldn't help but yawn. "Hey, why don't you go back home and get some rest? Don't worry about me. I'll call Uncle Cid later."_

"_No, I'm staying here," Roxas said firmly. If there was one person Sora would listen to, it was him. They joked that sometimes Roxas seemed like the older brother._

"_But I'm-"_

"_I **said** I'm staying, Sora. Now you get some rest and I'll call Uncle Cid."_

_Sora folded his arms over his chest and pouted. "Oh, fine, **Mom**." Roxas couldn't help but break into a laugh, causing Sora to do the same. "Haha…man, thank god I have you. It would be so bbbooorrriiinnnggg spending one full month in this god-forsaken room."_

_His smile fell._

* * *

Was it over? He couldn't tell. There was someone still crying over the grave. That's all he could hear. 

For some reason, Roxas was the only one whose results were negative. If he could, he would have given a sarcastic remark of how somebody up there must really like him and how much he was eternally grateful to him. _'What right did I have that Sora didn't?'_

He couldn't help but feel guilty, even though it wasn't his fault. He felt like he had stolen something from Sora.

The quietsobs continued. Roxas turned his head slightly and recognized her. Kairi. Sora's would-have-been fiancée. She was on her knees, curled up into her body. Her once shining red hair was now dripping wet and clung to her scalp like his clothes were to his body. She was clad in all black and her hands were deadly white.

Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. He remembered…the last promise they made…

* * *

_Sora had been in the hospital for more than a month and showed no signs of fading into exhaustion. He was hyper as ever and complained only about the dull 'prison' he's been confined to by those 'evil men in the white lab coats,' which he got scolded sternly for._

_Everyone thought he was able to overcome this. He was so confident, so alive._

_Or so they had all hoped…_

_It was when Roxas received a phone call from Sora that panic made its way back to his senses. The blonde rushed to the hospital as fast as he could. When he arrived, Sora was surrounded by doctors. Tubes stuck out of his right arm and a breathing mask covered the bottom half of his face._

"_Sora!"_

_The doctors cleared away for him to go through. He grasped Sora's arm and started yelling for him to wake up._

"_Sora! It's me! Roxas! Wake up, Sora!"_

_The teen's blue eyes fluttered open and turned its gaze to the one that matched its own. A smile weakly formed at his lips as he opened them, "Ro…Roxas…"_

_Roxas nodded, smiling. "Yeah, that's right. I'm right here. You're going to be fine, Sora. You're going to be fine, you hear me?" Warm, salty drops fell down his cheeks. His throat was dry and his knees were failing to support him._

_Sora heaved a heavy sigh, one that had the effect to make Roxas's insides freeze. He lifted his free arm a little off the bed and pointed at something on a bed table that has been moved to the far corner of the room. It was a beautiful arrangement of flowers in a green vase made of glass. "Nami…Naminé…sent those…p-please give her my thanks…"_

"_Sora, don't be silly! She's coming tomorrow. You'll be able to thank her yourself. You know, we haven't seen her in so long…"_

"…"

_The silence was unbearable. Sora tried to turn his head so he could see better but couldn't._

"_Roxas…do you remember, when I first met Kairi?"_

_The question had him taken aback, but he answered it, nonetheless. "Y-yeah, of course I do. Heh, how can I forget? You were such an idiot." Sora had accidentally walked into the wrong bathroom due to a daze, nearly causing the poor girl to scream. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone, and that was how their relationship started._

_Sora kept his smile up. "…Yeah…I love her…so much that…my heart would break…" He tried to laugh but ended up in a severe coughing fit. _

"_Sora!"_

_It took about a few seconds before he was able to continue, his voice turning raspy and his breath straining. "W-When I told her…about m-my disease…she j-just laughed and said sh-she didn't c-care…." He closed those cerulean orbs, the tears falling from the corners of his eyes. "P-Please…make her happy…I...I don't want to see her cry…promise me, Roxas-"_

"_Shut up with the nonsense, Sora!" He was angry now. Angry at Sora, thinking he's giving up. Angry at himself for whatever reason he could think of. Angry at the whole world because he had no one else to blame. "Shut up! You and Kairi are going to marry and have kids and you're going to spend the rest of your lives together!"_

"_Please, Roxas…please be happy with Kairi…promise me…"_

_Roxas shook his head, his eyes shut tight. "N-No…"_

"_Roxas…"_

"_I…I can't…"_

_The door slammed open and someone pushed him. He couldn't hear what this person was saying. Only that she was crying out the name of his twin._

'_You must promise me,' a phantom-like voice whispered as Sora's hand went limp in his._

* * *

Someone had placed an umbrella over his head. He blinked and turned to see his and Sora's childhood friend, Naminé. Her sapphire eyes were bloodshot and looked weary with sorrow. She's made her trip all the way from her home in Italy only to find out one of her best friend died the day before she arrived. "…You're going to get sick if you stay out here any longer." He realized the rest of the mourners were gone, except for the two of them. Someone must have taken Kairi with them. "Your uncle is waiting." 

Roxas bowed his head, glaring at the flowers and lighted candles that covered the tombstone. "I don't care."

She touched his hand and drew back almost instantly. "You're freezing…"

"I said I don't care," he responded with a dead-panned tone.

Cid had always said that twins were more stubborn than a whole herd of mules. And he was right. If Roxas had made up his mind then he was going to stay there, even at the risk of catching something worse than a cold.

Naminé sighed and brought out a handkerchief to wipe her tear-stained cheeks. "Do you…do you think the tears would stop?"

He didn't answer.

"…Even the sky is crying…Sora's crying…"

He remained silent.

"I won't say I probably feel the same way you do…but I can say we both hurt. I can say we all are."

"…"

"…It can't be helped. But…knowing him…"

"…he wouldn't want it to last…right?"

She slowly nodded, letting the umbrella fall out of her hand onto the ground. She walked forward, bent down and kissed the top of the gravestone. "Goodbye, old friend…" Sniffing, she stood up straight and backed away, picking up the umbrella like rewinding what she just did.

"…Are you ready to go on?"

"…No."

"…That's fine. I'm not either."

Roxas closed his eyes, savoring the last moments before their connection with each other was about to be cut off. No, not cut off. But just…farther apart than it was before.

"_We're twins, Roxas…so we must have some kind of freaky mind-to-mind power."_

_Sora gave him a goofy grin before walking away with his hands behind his head._

"_And besides…even if we didn't, we're still brothers, right?"_

Roxas smiled. The first in a long time. _'Yeah, I'll hold you to that.'_

"_Good."_

The teen sighed. "Maybe…"

Naminé looked up at him with a hopeful expression. "Go on."

"Maybe…I'm not ready to move on…just yet. But, I think…" He flexed his arms and shook his legs. They were aching all over. Nothing felt better. He turned to her, smiling sadly. "I'm ready to go home."

She returned the smile and nodded. "C'mon. Cid's waiting." With that, they gave one last farewell and began to make their way back to the others. Roxas glanced back.

'_I'll keep that promise to you, Sora. You don't have to worry.'_

* * *

**SD**: ...I don't know what possessed me when I wrote this. Everybody seemed OOC in some way or another, especially Roxas. And don't fret, I guarantee you this is a Roxiri. This is only part 1 of 5…cuz I realize I can't fit everything into just one chapter. Well, I have nothing more to say…other than I want to hug Sora. T.T Please tell me what you think, cuz I can't at the moment (my internet doesn't work at home so I'm posting this at school). And no, AIDS is not a gay disease (which my friend won't stop bugging me for…cuz she's a yaoi fan -.-; Meh). Thanks for reading! 


	2. Tears II

_**Tears: Part 2**_

Roxas never realized how many people had attended the funeral, even with his and Sora's friends combined. Some have gone home afterwards, the others returned with Cid to their house. He let his eyes wander around his small living room. Leon, Tidus, Tifa, Yuffie, Hayner, Orette, Pence, and even Cloud came. And this was only the living room.

He sighed and laid back against the sofa. He didn't bother to change or do anything when he got back. Something fuzzy then dropped on his head, covering his face. "Gah!"

"You're going to leave a wet mark there," said a rough voice. Roxas pulled the towel off his head and glared up at Cid, who was also still soaked from head to toe.

"Yeah, well…too bad."

Cid snorted and plopped himself down next to Roxas. He picked up his mug of black coffee from the tiny table in front of them but didn't drink the dark liquid. Only stared at the rim of his cup. "…It's going to be a lot quieter now…maybe a little too quiet without him."

Roxas blinked and stared at the wrinkles on his pants. His uncle was never really fond of their 'horsing around,' which Sora had contradicted as 'the small pleasure of their short, scarred lives.' It wasn't like Sora to come up with something as poetic as that. He must have gotten it from Kairi.

Kairi…did she go home? He hoped she did. It might take her more than just a while to emotionally recover. But just how long will that take a person with a broken heart? Naminé had told him it could take more than a year or maybe…she was afraid to mention this, but he figured it out on his own. Maybe they won't able to.

"_I don't want to see her cry…please be happy with her."_

He had understood only so much of his brother's last request. Be happy with her. Meaning continuing with the lives they lived before, even without him? Or is there a deeper implication to it? Probably.

That was what he didn't understand.

"Hey…hey, quit drifting off." Cid's mug was shoved under his nose, the stale smell of coffee overwhelming his senses. Roxas drew back in disgust and scrunched up his face. Cid then placed it in his hands. "Here."

"…I don't like coffee."

"I'm not tellin' ya to drink it. Just wash it for me. I'm going to bed," the blonde man retorted before getting up and proceeding to his bedroom, saying goodbye to the people who were leaving.

Roxas watched him go and then stood up to go to the kitchen. He saw Aeris and Naminé sitting at the table having a conversation over a cup of tea. They both glanced warily at him when he came in, though he didn't pay much attention to it. Only when he had finished with his task of washing the mug, did Aeris speak up.

"Roxas?"

"…Hmm?"

"Is it alright if Kairi and I stay over for the night?"

It took a few minutes for him to register the thought into his head. "Why?"

"Well, her parents aren't home because they're away on a business trip…and I can't get her to tell me where her keys are."

His blue eyes widened. Is her condition that bad? "Where is she now?"

"Riku put her in your room."

"I hope you don't mind," came another masculine voice. He turned around and saw the platinum-haired teen. He was Sora's closest friend, after Roxas. "I didn't want to leave her in Sora's room."

Roxas could only nod. "No, I don't mind. And sure you can, Aeris. Is it alright if you take the couch, though? I'll sleep in the basement."

Aeris shook her head vigorously. "Oh, no, no! I'll be fine. I won't be able to sleep anyway so I'll just watch after her."

"Just take the couch, Aeris," the blonde said and left.

"…Ok."

There was no point in brining up an argument or any disagreement with him. What he wanted was to be left alone to his own thoughts. He need silence from all the murmurs and whispering. He was sick of the color black. Just wanted everyone to leave.

* * *

"Later, Roxas." Leon gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, which Roxas could only nod in return. Yuffie gave him a bone-crushing bear hug, one that seemed to paralyze him. 

"Kiddo, you have to change or else you're going to catch pneumonia."

Someone ruffled his hair but he didn't care who. He just waved wordlessly to each person that passed.

"See ya."

"Bye, Roxas."

"Hey, don't stress yourself out, k?"

Finally. Gone. Over. Roxas closed the front door and quickly locked it. _'Now what?'_ Sighing, he went to go find Aeris only to discover she had already collapsed on the couch. She had been tending to Kairi so long, it took more out of her than she had expected. He shook his head and glanced at the clock. It was five already, huh? _'…Guess I'll have to find her a blanket.'_

He headed upstairs and passed Sora's room. A chill swept through him, as if his entire body was encased in ice. He shuddered and grabbed the extra covers from the closet across and hurried back downstairs, only to realize he's forgotten to get his pajamas.

But he didn't want to disturb Kairi anyways. Plus, he was accustomed to sleeping in just his boxers. And it's not that the basement didn't have heat or anything. It was no big deal.

Roxas gently placed the blankets over Aeris. _'And she said she wasn't going to get any sleep.'_ He turned and headed to the basement. It irritated him a little. How people try so hard but in the end, even to the last moment, giving in is inevitable. Yet he can't blame them. They were human and prone to such exhaustion of the body and soul. It makes him wonder…was that the reason why they were mortal? He shook his head. Pointless thoughts. He just wanted to rest. To sleep.

He found it difficult to fall out of consciousness, even though he was thoroughly fatigued. He just sat there, staring up at the cracked ceiling. How long was it going take for sleep to reach him? Maybe counting sheep will help…nah, he didn't believe in those childish games. At least, not anymore. Not since Sora had stopped counting.

When they both couldn't sleep, Sora would always say he'd count to 100. However, he had fallen asleep between the fifties and sixties. So Roxas continued for him, all the way to a hundred. Now there was nobody he could count for anymore.

"_Then you should do it for yourself."_ His twin had said so for something he couldn't remember, but it was definitely not for counting sheep.

"Sure…if I feel like doing it." You can call him lazy. Lethargic. Whatever. "I'm not up to it." And he buried his face into his pillow, letting the heavy burden that weighed him down fall into the depths of slumber.

* * *

He awoke in the middle of the night, or so he thought. He cursed Cid for not installing more toilets in the house because now he'll have to go two flights of stairs just to pee. Groaning, he shifted himself out of bed, pulled on his pants and carefully made his way to the stairs, trying to avoid bumping into anything. 

Cid's snoring could be heard all the way from the kitchen as he passed the living room. His eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and can make out dimly the image of a sleeping figure occupying the couch. The brunette had not moved an inch from her position. Talk about heavy sleepers.

Roxas winced at every little creak the stairs made when he climbed them. He was always afraid that his foot would one day break through the wood and get it stuck there.

"_Then I'll pull you out."_

"Huh?" The blonde picked up his head and searched for the source of the voice. It didn't seem like he was hearing things. He could have recognized it immediately.

_His_ ghost was haunting him.

Roxas's heartbeat quickened, his cerulean eyes darting to every corner trying to find a trace of white shadow or some sort of sign. Nothing. Taking a deep breath, he turned to open the door to Cid's bedroom and peeked inside. The man was lying on his stomach with his mouth open and his left arm dangling over the side of his bed. Quietly as he could, Roxas closed the door and continued further down the small hallway to the water closet.

After finishing his business, he came out only to face Sora's door. He couldn't recall how long it's been closed, but something told him to go in. He wasn't aware that he had obeyed that faint command until he was already standing there, right in the middle of his brother's room. Everything was the way it was. Nothing seemed out of place. Suddenly, he was startled by a sharp grunt that came from next door, causing him to bump a few picture frames off a shelf. One landed on his foot.

He bit his lip, trying not to yell out and bent down to pick it up. He flipped the frame over. It was a picture of them, Sora and Kairi. She had her arms wrapped around his torso and his loosely around her waist. They were smiling at the camera. They were in love.

Roxas gazed sadly at the photo before picking up another. This one was taken during their first summer at Cid's, one where they were running in circles on the lawn and the sprinklers were on.

A small whimper caught his ears. It was coming from his room. He stood up and placed the pictures back where they belonged.

"So-Sora…"

Roxas glanced into the hallway. Maybe he should…but what if…

Kairi was crying. She must be having a nightmare. Without a second thought, he quickly left Sora's room and knocked on his own door. "Kairi?" he whispered but was only answered with sobs. "Kairi…I'm coming in, ok?"

He entered and found her weeping into the pillow. She was still in her mourning attire and, if possible, even paler than before. He cautiously took a few steps forward, trying to see her face which was hidden from view by her shoulder-length hair.

"Kairi…?" He touched her shoulder and shook her gently. "Kairi? Are you alright?" Of course, she wasn't alright. But what else could he say?

The redhead slowly moved her head and what he saw shocked him. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot from crying. The light that once danced fervently in those blue orbs was nothing more than a small flicker of emotion. Her lips and cheeks had lost the color of warmth. She looked so…broken. Almost as if she was destroyed by grief. He swallowed hard.

'_What should I do?'_

Finally, he sat next to her and took her hand in his. He couldn't do anything now, because he was still trying to recover on his own. It wasn't the right time to say "Cheer up" because it just wasn't. It didn't feel right. All he could do was share his pain with her.

He gave her a weak smile and patted her hand. "You're going to be okay, Kairi…you can cry as much as you want." Cry to her heart's content. No matter how long it may take for those tears to dry.

She was staring at him blankly, without expression. As if she had never met him before. As if he was a stranger. Suddenly, she surprised him by throwing her arms around his neck and started sobbing into his neck. "Kai-!"

"Sora! Please don't go! Please don't leave me!" He could feel those warm salty droplets sliding down his skin. He stayed there frozen, not knowing what to do. So he slowly brought his arms around her smaller frame and patted her back. "Please, Sora…don't go…"

Roxas had never even thought he would land in this predicament. Right now, he wanted to blame Sora for putting her to the state she's in. For hurting her. For not being here as he should be. "I…I'm not Sora, Kairi…" He pulled her back to stare at her face, catching a quick glimpse of hope that vanished almost as fast as it came. She probably realized he was not the one she called for. She only mistook their identical looks. "I know it's hard…" His voice was cracked and struggling to find the words to comfort her. "I know it's difficult to accept the fact that…he's not here anymore. But you have to, Kairi. You have to-"

She shook her head, cutting him short. An exasperated smile formed on her lips. "Wha…what are you saying, Sora? You're right in front of me. You silly bum. It is you." She raised a hand to touch his cheek. It felt so cold. "See? If you weren't here, I wouldn't be about to touch you."

She was delusional. Hallucinating. In denial.

Roxas has lost the ability to speak. He wanted to pry her hand away and make her see the truth. Yet…if she did, then it would only bring her more misery. He didn't want that. In truth, he didn't want her to take her hand away. With a huge effort, he tore his gaze away from her. His chest felt hollow, yet fumed with indescribable heat and confusion.

"Don't turn away, Sora…"

But he wasn't Sora.

"Look at me…"

He didn't want to. He wasn't sure what he was feeling right now.

He felt her head press against his bare chest and looked down, to be overwhelmed with more sorrow and bewilderment. Something tugged at his heart and told him to pull her closer to him. His arms moved against his will and brought her into an embrace.

Kairi pushed herself closer into his torso. "You're…you're right here. Please…promise me. Promise me you'll never leave me again. Please…Sora."

Another promise. Even though he was not the intended person she had hoped for, he was going to promise for her sake. For his promise to Sora. "I…I promise." _'I'm not Sora…but I'll be there for you. I'll take care of you…in his place.'_

Her crying soon subsided and she fell asleep. He slowly lowered her onto her back and tucked her in, making sure not to disturb her. Even in the dark, he could see her lips moving every so often, mouthing soundless words. He sat there and watched her, wondering if she was dreaming about _him_.

He never realized how beautiful she was, even in her current condition. He never noticed how pretty her azure eyes were, or how much he wanted her to smile again. To be honest, they've never really talked or even say more than a "hello" to each other. It wasn't fair. It seemed like a mini-bomb shell had suddenly exploded on him when he turned his head and wasn't looking. The uneasy feeling he had gotten when she hugged him still lingered. He knew he wasn't going to be able to get rid of it, so why bother trying?

Perhaps Sora went through the same thing. But then again, the spiky-haired brunette didn't have the pressure of having to look after his brother's girlfriend if anything happened to him.

There was only one way he could go. Forward. He'll have to walk that path with her, because they can't do it alone.

"_Everything's going to turn out okay, you'll see," _the ever present,happy voice of a young boy echoed in his mind. A memory of him.

A small sigh escaped his lips. _'I hope so, Sora. I really hope so.'_

* * *

**SD**: There you have it. Witness Roxas in all his shirtless glory. xD J/k. J/k.  
Hmm…this was shorter than I expected it to be…and I apologize for the ending. It's really…terribly offish. Dunno why. Probably because I was reading this book my friend gave me for my B-Day. Then again, maybe the whole thing is rather offish. Urk.  
…Not really what I wanted. Blame my amateur skills. T.T Sorry! I promise I'll do better on the next one. 

So...part 2 of 5 is finished. I'll probably start on the next one today. My internet at home is not working so I won't be able to read your reviews until Monday. Urgh...

Mucho thanks to all those who reviewed. I **_LUVLUVLUV_** you all! x33

Tell me what you think…please?


	3. Tears III

_**Tears: Part 3**_

Can someone's heart really be healed by another? He's heard many stories where they did and in others where they didn't. But it was never easy. It was probably the hardest thing a person could ever try to accomplish. Not only hard, but painful. Very painful.

And yet…he couldn't give up. Because that would mean breaking his promise. Even if it may seem impossible to keep.

"_Hey, do you remember what Mom told us?"_

_A young pair of boys occupied two of the swings on the playground. Sora was twisting the metal chains that held his swing into a braid and releasing it, spinning fast in circles and making both of them dizzy. Roxas looked to the dirty laces of his worn-out sneakers. For Sora to mention their mother was strange. He still couldn't get over her death that had happened a few months ago._

_Sora kicked his legs out and tried to bring himself up into the air but couldn't. "Roxas?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Do you remember what Mom told us?" the brunette repeated, turning to face his younger twin._

_The blonde shook his head, his eyes gleaming curiously beneath the bangs that framed them. Sora shrugged and resumed trying to kick off the ground._

"_Mom made me promise that we'll find Uncle Cid. She made me promise that we'll look after each other." At that moment, Roxas could have seen a flash of sadness flash cross Sora's face only to be replaced by his carefree expression. "Kinda weird, don't you think?"_

_He wasn't sure how to respond or how he could agree that it was "weird." So he shrugged._

"_Mom almost _**never**_makes us promise her anything, don't you think?"_

Now that he thought about it, Sora was right. Their mother had always worked so hard to support them on her own but didn't ask for much in return. He guessed they were alike. Sora…and their mom.

"Roxas…Roxas…hun, your cup is spilling."

He looked down at the mug he held in his hand. He was _suppose_ to fill it with hot water and add lemon and honey. Sure enough, it was tipped at crooked angle letting the water pour out of it and down the drain.

"Oh, sorry, Tifa."

Tifa clicked her tongue and shook her head, watching him release the tab and switch stations. "Is everything alright, Roxas? You seem pretty out of it." _That_ was an **understatement**. She wasn't the only one to notice that Roxas had lost his focus within the past few months. The dark bags under his eyes told her he wasn't getting sleep as much as he use to. His studies weren't going so well, either. He's been occupied with moping. Remembering.

He wouldn't listen to her. Or he would _claim_ to listen but it just went in one ear and right out the other. She wasn't concerned that he wasn't doing his job. She was more concerned for his well-being. If he stayed like this any longer, he'll eventually have a breakdown. Just like Kairi. She knows they've both suffered. She _cried_ with them at Sora's funeral. She wasn't just their boss at the café they worked at, she was their older sister model ever since they've come to live with Cid. Of course, she should be worried. Of course, she has to know what's distracting him.

"Everything's fine, Tifa," he murmured as he passed her to reach the counter where the customer was waiting and handed her the drink. "Thank you. Can I help whose next?"

"No, you're coming with _me_ into my office, young man." Taking him by the belt of his pants, she hauled him into the back room, ignoring his shout of surprise. "Yuffie, take over for him, will ya?"

"Sure thing!"

The older woman closed the door behind her and turned to face Roxas, who had already sat himself down in her chair. She folded her arms and gave him an exasperated glare, a sign that made him gulp and avert his attention to the polished top of her mahogany desk. Tifa would never bring him aside just to lecture him except on a few occasions when he's been slacking off. And when she did, she'd be sharp and blunt about it. Who'd have thought that such a gentle-looking lady like her would be so…frightening?

"Roxas…can you _please_ tell me what's on your mind?"

He continued to stare at the garnet-colored wood. Up till now, nobody else knew about what Sora had told him before his death. He didn't feel comfortable about telling _anyone _about it. Because he knew they wouldn't understand. How could the possibly comprehend the burden on his shoulders? But maybe Tifa would…a little. She always told him that if there was something weighing him down, it's easier to talk to someone even if they can't feel the same way he does. He knew Tifa would support him.

"Tifa…Sora made me promise him something. Something important."

Her arms dropped to her sides. She couldn't stay mad at him, not for so long anyways. When he sounded so depressed, she just can't bring herself to be angry at all. Curse her weakness for those two rascals she watched over. They've held such a tender spot in her heart…how could she bring herself to scold him now? "Was that why you couldn't– "

He nodded, cutting her off short. The heavy feeling was slowly starting to slip away. Away from him. He'll have to tell her.

"He…He told me to look after Kairi for him. That we'd be happy together. But, the way Kairi–" The way she was now. She wasn't herself. She was a living corpse, still breathing but decaying from the inside. Still walking but had lost the strength to pull herself out of hellhole that plagues her soul. "She–"

"I know. Kairi loved him…a lot." A long silence followed. He didn't dare pick his head up, even though the position he held was starting to get his neck sore. What should he say? He needs her advice. He could hear Tifa sniffing…was she crying? But she'd deny it if she was. She wouldn't show her tears in front of anyone. "Kairi will be fine. Why would you think otherwise?"

"I…"

"You think you can't help her? Why not?"

"…I don't know." Roxas picked up his head and sighed. "What should I do, Tifa? I don't know what I can do anymore. Everything I did do was just useless and–"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

The blonde closed his mouth shut, backing closer into chair. That was probably the first time Tifa yelled at him. It was also probably the first time she glared at him so intensely before it melted away into a tired look and a weak grin. Sighing, she placed a hand over eyes and massaged the space between them.

"I'm sorry, Roxas…I didn't mean to yell. But y'know, it's not true what you said."

He blinked several times, wondering what she meant. She came to lean against the desk and to his surprise, smiled gently at him.

"Your efforts were not useless. She just needs to do the rest on her own. We can't make that decision for her to move on. Only she can do that. And when she's ready, she'll decide on her own."

Tifa's words reassured him at least a little. There will be a time when Kairi would be alive like she was before. He'll just have to wait for her.

"You're a good kid, Roxas. I can understand why Sora would trust you so much to keep your promise to him."

"But–"

"Just be yourself." She held firm. There were no "buts" about it. "Don't worry about it. You've done enough. Don't you think you deserve some relief?"

Relief. The word seems foreign to him. He wouldn't be able to grasp any relief until he knew she was alright again. He's living on an edge between hope and fear, a place where relief didn't exist. He asks himself, _'Do I really deserve to rest?'_ and wonders how blissful it must be to find it again. But he had already decided. He wasn't going to slow down his progress, now that he's come this far. He'll be able to rest when he sees a smile on her face again, a smile he wanted for her.

"No…at least, not yet."

"…I understand." She stood and was about to exit the room, but turned back to look at him. "But at least don't stress yourself out so much, ok?"

He grunted as a reply, bringing a tiny smile back to her lips.

"I'm glad you told me, Roxas. And I just want you to know that this isn't anything you're not capable of."

"…Thanks, Tifa."

She shrugged. "No problem. Oh, and hey, I'll let you off early for today. I want you to go home and get some sleep, you got me? I'll drop by later to give you dinner."

He gave the smallest of nods.

"Alright…well, I'll see you then."

"Tifa?"

"Hmm?"

He looked at her straight in the eye. "Do you…do you think it's possible – about what he said about me and Kairi?"

Tifa knew he wanted the sincerest answer she could give. She knew he wasn't directly asking _her_ but what would his brother think. But she truly didn't know. She couldn't lie that she knew it will because it was too soon to jump to conclusions. Even though she hoped they would…eventually. She decided she'd give him a straight answer. "…I have never doubted Sora when he means it. But even if it doesn't work out...I'm sure he wouldn't hold it against you, Roxas."

* * *

He really didn't like driving to school. He'd have to go through Main St., which was always crammed with traffic. But he made an exception. He'd risk getting in trouble with the cops for double-parking for just one reason. He'd wait hours if need be just to drive her home.

In this sad excuse for a car.

A piece of junk that broke down numerous times. An old minivan that dated back to the caveman era.

Well, because of Cid's "miraculous" car-repairing skills, this way it'd be cheaper not to get a new vehicle.

Not that Roxas would care about what kind of car he could get. Like he said. He didn't like driving. So he wouldn't even bother about a car.

The blonde turned his head, quickly catching a glimpse of deep red among the crowd. She was usually accompanied by one of her friends, but today she was alone. It's became a routine. His classes would end at noon, he'd have lunch and come back to school to wait outside the gates. She'd come out, head bent and eyes glued to the floor as she always did. And they'd let the rest of the time pass in silence.

He wasn't doing to this in an attempt to get closer to her. That was the least he wanted. Tifa told him never to do that. Well, he wouldn't have done it even if she didn't suggest it anyways. He just wanted to help her in every little way he could.

She just didn't seem to notice…

"Hey, Kairi," he forced out, trying to sound cheerful and only received a small "hi" back.

Sighing, he turned his attention back to the road and pulled back into the midst of traffic. How long he's been doing this favor for her he didn't know. But it didn't really matter. What was his real concern was the invisible wall she had built around herself, shutting everyone out. Shutting _him_ out. He'd have to get her to talk somehow. Even if she didn't want to. He was going to **make** her talk.

"So, uh…I heard from Yuffie you're planning to take Economics next year."

Kairi only nodded, her gaze still fixed on her hands.

"Heard it was hard. Is it?"

"…"

"Orette took it last semester and she said she wished she had taken Psychology instead. She said it suits her more. What do you think?"

"……"

"Kairi…are you going to answer me?" Roxas tried not to sound so angry, but he couldn't help it. He silently prayed to Sora to forgive him for what he was about to do next. "Well?"

She bowed her head even lower than before and shook it.

He gave an exasperated exhale of breath and pulled into an abandoned parking lot. He turned to her and demanded, "Why not?"

The redhead covered her face with her hands and kept shaking her head. She couldn't look at him. He looked so much like Sora. He might have been different from Sora in many ways and they didn't even _sound_ the same but _he_ had Sora's face. He had Sora's **eyes**. He was Sora's doppelganger. She couldn't bring herself to see Sora and know that he wasn't there. That Roxas wasn't the one she loved. "I…I can't!"

The blonde's expression softened and he looked away in shame. For a while, only her sobs could be heard. He regretted getting frustrated with her, because she was so broken already. She was continuing to think of his brother, bringing a mix of comfort and pain.

"_Continuing to think of **one** person and one person _alone_…can only be done by an _**ailing**_ heart."_

He remembered vaguely about one person who told him that. So Kairi was one of the ailing. Whether it was on purpose or not, she couldn't bring herself to stop.

"I'm sorry, Kairi…I know it hurts you a lot." It's unfair, isn't it? It's unfair that it had to be this way. But there's nothing they could do about it. "Don't you want to see him? Will that make you happy?"

Her sobs ceased to hiccups and tiny sniffs but she continued to avoid eye contact with him.

"Don't you think we all want the same thing?"

She slowly picked her head up and looked his way. He was staring straight into the left mirror, as if lost in his own thoughts but yet still very aware that he wasn't just muttering gibberish.

"You know, I think Sora's quite disappointed in us. And…I am, too, I guess." He switched his gaze to her, causing her to flinch. "I didn't realize how it affected others on the way I act. I guess I was kind of in the same situation as you and I kept on making everybody worry about me." A smirk formed on his lips. He was sure the brunette would probably be infuriated if he was so depressed. "So Tifa told me to get a hold of myself. She didn't say that it was wrong of me to be sad, but it was selfish of me nonetheless. And…I don't think he'll forgive me if you carried on the same way."

Kairi blinked and turned her stare back to her lap. It caused him anguish again but he fought it down and drove out of the parking lot.

"Kairi…I promised Sora that I would look after you. I know that I'm not him and that isn't my objective. I just want you to be your old self again. For your own sake."

She sniffed.

"Would that be too hard?"

* * *

"Roxas? Roxas, are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, Yuffs. I have this term paper I have to finish. Can't you tell me later?"

Yuffie pouted and folded her arms over her chest. Honestly, he works **too** hard sometimes. And she had something **important** to tell him, too. Grrgh, he was impossible. "Can't you finish your term paper later? I mean, you have like what? Four more hours to finish it?" No, seriously. She really _**did** _have something important to tell him.

"Yuffie, leave him alone and finish mopping the spill. He'll find out soon enough."

Roxas picked his head up and gave Tifa a quizzical look. "What? What will I find out soon enough?"

"Oh, you pay attention to _her_, but not _me_, huh? Well, that's the last time I will EVER tell you anything again, Roxas James Wyatt! Hmph!" The petite girl shot her nose in the air and stalked away…only to stumble a bit because of the wet floor. She regained her balance and shot them a glare but failed to stop grin spreading on her lips. "Shaddup, Tifa. Nobody saw that." Tifa's smirk soon broke into a laugh. Roxas's eyebrow was arched so high it disappeared among his blonde bangs. It's been a while since Yuffie had used his full name, which he despised. He **loathed** his father's name. He _abhors _his father. Roxas James Wyatt? Come on…

"Anyway…what will I find out soon enough?"

Tifa only handed him the phone and rolled her eyes at his still confused look. "It's Cid. He's freaking out because Kairi's over at your house."

His eyes widened. Kairi? Over at his house? Uh…why?

"Tifa! I am NOT freaking out!" came Cid's loud voice through the other line. So loud that Roxas had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"Cid!"

"What! Oh, Roxas. Get back home right now."

"Um, ok…Just stop spazzing."

"For the last time, I am NOT spazzing!" He was so spazzing. "You either here in ten minutes or…or you're grounded!" The phone went dead.

Tifa smirked and took the phone back. "He's afraid about her breaking down in front of him. And he doesn't know what to say to her."

Sighing, he gathered his papers into a neat pile and stuffed them into his backpack. "Cid says I'm grounded if I'm not home within ten minutes." Rolling his eyes, he threw his backpack over his shoulder and headed for the door. "You think he would _notice_ that I'm almost nineteen and in college now."

* * *

He found her in Sora's room. Sitting on the bed and staring at the picture of her and Sora in her hand. Lately, nobody dared to come into this room. He's been neglecting it so that's why the shelves were full of dust and grime. The curtains were always closed as opposed to the time when it was always opened. Sora would never have them closed, which gave Roxas the impression that his older twin was afraid of the dark…

He will never find out now.

Kairi's fingers gently traced the outline of Sora's face, her deep blue eyes never straying. He tried to say something but his throat felt clogged and his mind was blank. Why has she come here? He needed to know.

"Roxas…" To hear her say his name startled him. But she stayed in the same hunched position he found her in. "How long has it been? I…I mean," she cut off and frowned. As if the cause of confusion was she didn't even recognize her own voice or that it was she the one who was speaking. "I mean…since Sora left…" She wasn't going to use the two terms "passed away." And he was glad she didn't.

He stared at her, surprise dancing in his eyes. "…three months."

"…It's June already?"

Finally, she picked up her head and looked his way. He could see ever the tiniest hint of the old Kairi. He nodded, not knowing what else to say. "Y-yeah, um…"

"I'm so sorry, Roxas," she choked out with struggling breath and covered her face. He was…a little bit more than shocked but let her continued. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know…I, I…"

He sat down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gasped and turned to see him smiling at her. A comforting smile. Like Sora's. But there was something different about it, something that set them apart from each other. It was understanding and filled with the same sadness she has been feeling over her loss. "You don't have to be sorry, Kairi. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But-but I was acting so selfish! And…and I kept pushing everybody away when they tried to help me! I'm so sorry, Roxas! I didn't mean to…"

"I didn't say it was bad of you to be selfish, Kairi." His cerulean eyes dropped to the picture. "You lost someone you loved. Someone you loved dearly. It's understandable. It's not a crime to mourn. Nobody's angry with you, Kairi. They understand."

Her breath was caught in her throat and when his hand lifted off her shoulder, she wished he didn't pull away. The long silence was awkward, making them both feel uncomfortable. He seemed to find the floor fascinating. But his mind was elsewhere. Far off from where he was now.

"_I don't like to break promises," Sora said, two seats away from him. It was late afternoon and they've forgotten the keys to the house so they were forced to wait at the swings. "I feel guilty when I do."_

_Roxas stared at him, completely taken aback by his twin's random brought up of the topic. They haven't had a talk like this for years. "Sora, what are you talking about?"_

"_Haha, sorry 'bout that. Guess I sorta spaced out…again. I dunno. I was thinking about Mom…and about Kairi."_

"_Why? You ready to propose to her yet?" he asked with a sly smirk but it instantly dropped when he saw how serious Sora was. "Sora?"_

"_Huh? Oh, sorry. Wait…what were we talking about again?" His grinned his goofy grin and scratched the back of his neck, a sign showing he was embarrassed for getting lost in his own thoughts. He's been doing that a lot lately._

"_You said something about Kairi."_

"_Oh. Oh yeah…You know, we had the sappiest talk ever yesterday. It was kinda…weird." Extremely weird, but… "She asked me if we're going to be together forever. And I said…" He paused. What was he waiting for? A drum roll?_

"_You said…"_

"_I said no."_

_The world should have ended right there. He told her _**no**_. Maybe he was drunk…but Sora doesn't drink. It was one of those "for life" vows he made to himself ever since he saw how those hangovers handled Cid. "Wha-you what?"_

"_I told her no. A straight, honest no."_

_Roxas wanted to call him an idiot, if a feeling of dread didn't stop him to. He knows Sora's been thinking over life and his illness. Sora was indirectly admitting that he wasn't going to make it. When the brunette was met with complete shock, he sighed and hung his head._

"_I promised her that I'd _**love** _her forever. But I couldn't promise that I would _**be **_there forever. And that if it happens, I would want her to be happy. I don't want Kairi to be alone."_

**I **_can't_ **break a promise to her…**

"He said he couldn't promise me something that might never happen. I didn't think he was serious. I didn't believe him…I didn't **want** to believe him." It took a few seconds for Roxas to realize he had spaced out, but luckily, Kairi didn't seem to notice. "But he made me promise him that I'd be happy, even if he wasn't there."

"…"

"…And I don't want to let Sora down." She smiled at him. He returned it.

"Yeah, me neither."

Kairi nodded and got up to put the picture frame back on the shelf. He watched her, just standing there and staring at the picture. He was glad, glad that she could smile again. "I've wanted to thank you, Roxas."

"Hmm?"

She turned around and crossed her arms behind her back. "Thank you. For being there for me. And…sorry if I was such a…a, um…"

"Don't worry about it. It was…nothing." He looked away and scratched his head. Damn these moments! God just loved picking on him, didn't He?

Suddenly, he found his hand grasped in hers and was met by her breath-taking indigo gaze and her heart-stopping smile. "I'd like to make it up to you." Roxas was suddenly pulled off the bed and out of the room. "I'll make it up to you…somehow."

Roxas smiled. He takes back what he said. It didn't seem impossible after all.

* * *

**SD**: (dies)……  
J/k. I'm still here. :) I thought I would never get this done cuz I was suffering from severe writer's block. Sorry about the delay. Was busy. I made this extra long becuz of it.  
And yay! I got my KH2 && happiness. x3 But I can't play it on the weekdays. D: But let me just say, the game is** OMGsoAMAZING! Sora is HAWTT!1!** Yeah, there's my two cents. :P

Back on topic. Gah. I thought it was horrible. It was horrendously repetitive and…I dunno. Maybe I'll have to edit it. I'm sorry. T.T I'll try to do better next chapter. So, um…tell me what you think? Confused? Send me an IM and I'll do my best to explain. Ok, that's it, I guess. I **_lurve_** all of you who reviewed. Thank you so much. Starbursts for you. D


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